i have woken in the small hours of morning to another itch-fest and thoughts about the oil spill in the Bay of Plenty...my cat is expecting an early feed and is staring at me wide-eyed around the corners of the table.
i woke as per usual these past four months only this time four hours after going to sleep, not two - and this time decided to try and curb the incessant itching by reading so i grabbed an old favourite from the shelf "Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox and mentally chose a page number - 96.
"...King Yahweh preserves creation and sustains it by being a just king. Justice preserves creation and makes it thrive and blossom in ever fertile ways...
Say among the nations, 'Yahweh is King...Firm has he made the world, and unshakeable; he will judge each nation with strict justice. Let the heavens be glad, let the earth rejoice. Let the sea thunder and all that it holds...(Psalm 96:10)
...God, Creator and King, has entrusted humans the needs of the creation and its preservation.....It was the work of the prophets to constantl confront the kings when they failed - as they so often did - at carrying on creation by way of preservation and justice-making"
(Original Blessing pages 96 and 97)
once again i am challenged at my lack of outrage given the events of the spill - my cat's eyes are still imploring me for food but he has resigned himself to more of a sit-in/occupation response!
i have often been slow towards verbal outrage and often even the feelings of outrage - it must be in some ways a form of my phlegmatic nature - whilst slow to anger it is certainly deeply felt when it arises.
the oil spill is a gutting and tragic event there can be no doubt - i am fortunate in that i am currently not on the beach staring at the waves of black coming in. my partners father lives in Matata so i have grown to love the wildness of that beach - the particular way in which the great swelling waves come right up to shore and then dump suddenly downwards - it is a difficult sea to get out in for a swim as it is a short trajectory from standing on the shore to being in the deep water. Hamu the dog has spent many an afternoon pacing the beach and barking in concern for his dad's safety. Val is a diver and we have gone across the bar with him - he talks about the country down there - it is most probably his first home and the house he lives in his second...
so to think of that whole area covered in black slick is gutting.
in the quiet of the night when my mind races as fast as my skin irritates me, i have had many thoughts about what i feel and think about the tragedy and if i can regrasp some of those thoughts they will appear here in a somewhat stream of consciousness form i'm sure...
like it or not, we have all benefited and live in a world that has been driven by fossil fuels - the navy boats that have been sent to assist in the oil salvage operations have been powered by oil to get to their destination alongside the Rena. Hinemoana's friend who works in the assessment of possible oil drilling sites has on occaision reminded her that the scope of the oil industry is far greater than what we immediately perceive...did he say it even relates to computing and other modern technologies - did i get that right?
my cat has just chirped at me - he thinks i'm getting up - i'm just changing position...he feigns disinterest 'i'm just cleaning myself here...nearby....very near...with one eye on the bowl'...
it does now seem like a very antiquated way of transporting goods - now that we see it in all it's glory...some very run-down looking over-sized barge overladen with huge containers - it all looks very precarious now that it is on a 6 degree, 11 degree, 22 degree list...
in a curious way, it has made me mindful of all the tonnes and tonnes of goods that have made its way in and out of the country for days and weeks and months and years...it reminds me of when my flatmate Fe used to give thanks for our food and she would bless the truck-drivers and the people who grew the food etc...sometimes these disasters, while dotting our newspapers frequently, remind me of the many myriads of ways that humans make things and make things happen and build things and move things and fix things and deliver things and transport things without incident...it makes me thankful on a level for the creativity and resourcefulness of humans....but yes, there is that thing about justice and co-operating with the earth...a town that has built itself economically on the back of its port is now in shock that it too can suffer at the hands of industry much as it has witnessed overseas - we are not immune...how about those All Blacks.
my cat has now repositioned himself so that his body is full on facing in the direction of the mecca bowl...
i have had to relent and feed him as i needed a toilet stop and he was just going to meow and protest and create havoc...so i have silenced him with food.
my own microcosmic universe has been having its own toxic dumping - four months of being over-run with eczema - a benign sounding but rather unpleasant affliction and one which the health books and Chinese/Indian philosophies say is the result of too much taxing of the cleansing organs. with nowhere to go and being clogged with more than they can handle, they have unceremoniously dumped toxins out through the skin and like shoreline slavage it clears and reappears and clears and reappears...
at times like this we are forced in a way to consider what our life has been like and what it will be like from here on in...this is difficult enough as an individual to think about - what am i willing to change to make my life better in the future?..it is a massive undertaking for a global community especially one where it seems that the ones affected least are often the ones holding the cards...but we all get to decide how we can be stewards of the planet, of how we can move towards tino rangatiratanga and co-creation with the planet...i have no doubt that a newer, better way will be found...its a matter of when and how much it will be reactionary and desparate last measures...
through my experimentations with eating raw - i'm well aware that it is easier to make such a change when it is thought of as expansion, as adding to a pleasurable life - rather than taking away...it's pretty hard to make drastic changes cold-turkey unless the stakes are high sometimes - though i have read of some people for whom going raw became a natural transition and one that felt better than what was previously lived.
wouldn't it be nice if we found new ways of harnessing energy that felt expansive and beneficial and exciting and not merely a knee-jerk reaction to catastrophe...humans need a good bit of catastrophe sometimes - it humbles us and reminds us of our place and gives us renewed vision.
i am grateful for the ways in which the body can rejuvenate (and i'm counting on it!), i'm grateful for the ways in which the earth rebalances and corrects itself...i'm so sorry for all the birds and fish that have suffered from this tragedy and from the fallout of our activities...i'm grateful that the earth is the supreme self-healer.
the kaumatua says there was too much hui and not enough do-ey...quite possibly
i feel a little weary now and i'm sure i had some amazing thoughts in the dead of night that i can't quite access now...another time another time...
"see them mining for that precious black gold
it burns with desire and leaves a mark on your soul
see them drilling without asking why
pretty soon we'll see those toxins fly...
and you - why won't you tell me what makes you happy
why do we have to dredge it up until we're left with nothing".
(from song Easy composed by CW)
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